How ironic is this…….

“I think what a big part of 30 Seconds to Mars is, it’s not only music, it’s not only art, it’s a community. It’s a sense of having a place to belong. And not everybody will understand it, and that’s ok, it’s just for the people that do.”Jared Leto.

So I was reading through my tumblr and came across this quote by none other than the very person who cast me out of said community, the place where I belonged. I understand it, I get it and I accepted that my friends who didn’t understand what belonging to said community meant and they accepted that they didn’t understand either.

So how is it ok to be outcast from a family that is supposed to be there for you? I have been told that ” Oh Noele, even if the Patriarch of the family casts you out of the family, (for no reason have you), you still have the Ecehlon (the other family members).” This however is so very untrue. Lets look at that statement here for a second. So the head of the family throws you out for no valid reason to date; there is no way in hell anyone in the rest of the community will stick with the outcast for fear they too will be outcast as well.

There is a song that also comes to mind as I am writing this. Was It A Dream by 30 Seconds to Mars. There is a verse where Jared sings “I’m a selfish bastard but at least I am not alone. Well Jared you have part of that right. You are a selfish bastard but you are alone.” I don’t now how many times I tried to be there to be your friend. To be a real friend, an honest non paid for friend. See everyone around you is paid for or they have something to gain by being your friend. You go to bed alone, you wake alone. I feel sorry for you. I know you don’t like me even though multiple times you told me to my face that we would always be ok, Well buddy now is the time to prove that you are a man of your word. If we are always ok then take me back into the family. However, no matter what I will always consider you a friend.

Why some of you might ask? Well because that is how I am. I don’t hate many people. I actually try to find the good in everyone. You have to do me wrong more than once for me to dislike you. BUT…. fuck with my kids and that is a totally different story.

Now Shannon Leto, you are a different story, you do have genuine friends, I see them in your pictures you post. I just don’t understand why. Why did you do this to me? I’m more hurt by your actions than Jared’s.  You told me to my face in Minnesota that if there was ever an issue you would email me and we would talk. You promised and I just don’t understand and well honestly, I didn’t expect this from you because I have mad respect for you. I will always have that respect and hope that one day we can have a face to face and talk about this.

So I guess I have rambled on enough for right now thanks to all my peeps for reading. Have a great day/night wherever you are.

By the way if any of you are counting only 7 more days till my birthday 🙂

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